A miserable showing from Man Utd ruined what could have been a great weekend. The experience was made even more unbearable by having to watch the game at the mother-in-law's over a roast dinner. For some reason the whole family was desperate to find out if I'd had a bet on the game and what I'd backed. No sooner had I reluctantly got the words out (simplifying the one and three-quarter ball handicap, of course) then Beckford boshed one in and everyone started laughing at me and coming out with witty comments like 'I don't think your bet's looking very good now!' I really don't know why it was so funny that I was about to do my conkers.

The rub-downs continued as the game progressed and I lost count of how many times I was told that my bet looked like a loser. I was going to explain about how I'd got the value and all that, but it would have been wasted. The wife was listening intently hoping to find out exactly how much I'd spunked away, but I was not about to reveal to anyone that I'd lost more than I'd spent on Christmas. That would not have gone down very well.

At least Sunderland and Chelsea did the business, although the in-laws didn't get to hear about those ones.